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A Story with No Redeeming Value. Really, not sure you should waste your time on this one.

I need to warn you, there are no redeeming qualities about this story. It is just a snippet of the strange things that happen to me on a daily basis.

Denise, has crazy stories about her boys and family.

I have peculiar stories about the people that find me. Grocery stores, gas stations and even, as you will see, restrooms…

So, I went to Target last week to finalize my Christmas shopping. I went alone. It was glorious…being alone. I cherished every minute.

As is always the case, I stopped into the restroom as I walked into Target. May or may not have anything to do with my coffee addiction.

I walk into the stall and…and then I hear these women talking. I can tell it’s a women (30-ish) with her mother. The daughter is complaining about a “lump.”

A lump in her breast…the mother seems completely uninterested, as if she’s just tired of hearing the daughter speak. I would soon understand this sentiment.

She asks her mother to feel the lump and asks what to do about it, the mother nonchalantly says, “it’s probably nothing.”

Then the woman explains that the lump is painful.

About this time I walk out of the stall and say, “if it hurts, you probably should get it checked out.”

Her eyes got big as saucers and she exclaimed, “REALLY?! Do you think so?!” She was obviously thrilled that someone wanted to engage her in this discussion.

“Yes,” I said. “I would check it out.”

“Do you think it’s a lymph node?” she said, pointing to the lump.

“It sounds like it,” I replied. “Have you had sinus problems at all?”

Again…she pracically leaped at me…”YES! I have! I’ve had a sinus infection and terrible drainage!”

She then went on to describe the drainage.

About this time, a friend that I have not seen in many years walked in and we both screamed, “HI!” and hugged!! My friend walked into the stall as the woman then asked me to feel her lump.

“Feel this, right here, what do you think?”

By now the woman’s own mother walked out of the restroom leaving me there to feel her breast lump.

Hesistantly, I put the back of my hand on her lump area-ish.

“Yup, it’s a lump, it could be that with all the sinus problems your lymph nodes are pooling and swelling,” I explained.

Then. It got even more uncomfortable. Yes…this is possible.

She told me the story of when she was 19 (now 31), how she had a one night stand with a guy. She never should have, she explained, but it just happened. Now, several years later, she found out, that he gave her h*rpes.

Yes. This really happened. Right in Target’s bathroom.

I expressed my sadness at her unfortunate mistake.

What… else… could… I… do?

About this time my friend walked out of the stall and started washing her hands behind me.

I encouraged the woman to get the lump checked out and to have a Merry Christmas while she was at it. She thanked me profusely for all my advice and walked out to find her mother who had probably driven away by now.

I turned to my friend who was drying her hands, shaking her head and giggling under her breath.

“I don’t know how these things happen to me,” I said.

We both burst out laughing and then spent 20 minutes catching up on the past 10 years.

So there you have it. A glimpse into an experience that I wish was unusual for me.

Do these things happen to you? I’d love to hear about it if they do! 🙂

I told you this story would have no redeeming value, but I am over at the cafe’ today if you want to read my post, it might redeem your last 5 minutes. I hope.

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