I can not tell you how many wives I have cried and prayed with that are believing God for their unsaved husband. Such a heart-wrenching place to be. They love their husband but can’t share the most important part of their life with them.
Sometimes the husbands even go to church and confess to be Christians, but are not living a Christian life and the woman feels that she is alone in her walk. She longs to have her husband take the lead spiritually, to pray with the family and teach the kids to love the Lord and His Word.
Each time I sit with a women in this position, I share a verse that I feel is the key to a woman walking this path.
1 Peter 3:1-2 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the Word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. NIV
The key phrase here: “without words.”
So often we feel it is our job to convince them to follow the Lord – with our words.
Preaching at him every opportunity we get will not draw him to God, unfortunately it will probably push him to the point of wanting nothing to do with our church or our God.
Read it in the Amplified version:
1 Peter 3:1-2 3:1 IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, 2 When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him — to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. AMP
Well there you go. We have quite a list to keep us busy: * to respect him * defer to him * revere him * to honor * esteem * appreciate * prize * to adore him * to admire * praise * be devoted to * deeply love * enjoy your husband
Seriously, let’s go through this list, one by one and really ask ourselves where we can improve in these areas.
Do we respect them? In front of the kids? In front of others?
Do we defer to him as the leader in our home? Really??? Like when we know that he really does not want us to do _____________, do we do it anyway??? Or do we choose to defer to him and his position?
Do we honor and esteem him? Let me ask it this way, how does your husband know that he is honored and esteemed in his home? I challenge you to ask him….
Do we prize them? How do you treat something that you prize?
PRAISE, are we praising them? I have often said that it is our job to be they’re biggest cheerleader in this life. What do they get the most accolades for? If we are not their biggest cheerleader who/what is? They will gravitate to that person or thing, ie: job, sport, etc.
Are we devoted to them? Another spin on that…what do we devote ourselves to, is it them…or could it be “good” things such as church/kids, etc. that come before our husbands?
Do we deeply love and enjoy our husbands? Maybe the idea of enjoying them is absolutely foreign to you, I’ve spoken with many women that feel that way. Let me just tell you, it’s not too late to deeply love and enjoy them –and enjoy your marriage.
That’s God’s plan for marriage! Enjoyment and pleasure. Our marriages can be a little bit of heaven on earth.
Let’s look at one more version of that verse out of The Message Bible:
1 Peter 3 1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.
I love that, what a picture it paints. “Be captivated by your life of holy beauty.” That radiates true womanhood!
I would love it if you would share (in the comments) how you have already applied this in your life or how you plan to.
I’m praying for our marriages.