• Sue Cramer

Confessions of a Judgmental Mom

I was the mother of three young children in the early 90’s and boy did I have it all figured out. I knew that women should be home and not in the work place, I knew that breast was best and that TV’s were just boxes filled with evil trying to persuade my children to toddle down a path to h-e- double hockey sticks.

Can I just start with, “I’m sorry?”

If I ever “should” on you in those years, please forgive me.

By should-ing on you I mean:

  1. You should stay home with your children.

  2. You should nurse that baby.

  3. You should, you should, you should…

Sorry. I will try not to should on you again. Sadly, should happens.  

Now that those children are grown, God gave me a second chance with Lauren. We adopted her at the glorious age of 2 and she’s 7 now. She’s my little do-over card. Although, there are times when she breaks out in song and instead of “hide it under a bushel- NO!” it’s “country girl shake it for me” that Mark and I drop our heads in shame and say, “we’ve ruined this one.”

It’s with this heart that I shared this week’s Real Mom of West Michigan segment on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook.

The recent hullabaloo about working moms vs. stay-at-home moms is an unfortunate one. At a time when women would really benefit from standing together, we’ve once again polarized by should-ing on each other. Sadly, both sides of this issue divides women and can hurt the hearts of those who are choosing what they feel is best for their family.


Age and experience may have a lot to do with my change is opinion. I no longer feel the need to validate myself by stomping on someone else’s opposing decision. I think my own insecurity is what fueled my militant stand and desire to tell other moms what they should do. There’s nothing wrong with strong convictions, but the only person that my soap box benefitted was me and my need for approval.  

I believe that all moms have a difficult decision to make in regards to working/staying at home, but it’s their decision. We can’t peer through the windows of another home and know what their needs are or what God has called them to do. But we can love our neighbor as ourselves and by showing that love, we represent Christianity the way Jesus did. Not with judgment but with grace.  

I confess that I was a judgmental mom, but I’ve come a long way baby. Some might not approve of where I am now (I probably wouldn’t have back then either) but there is so much freedom in loving others as opposed to feeling the need to change them. It’s really hard to sincerely love those that we’re trying to change.

What say you??


I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio. Click on the Star 105.7 tab to hear today’s segment.

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