I’m so excited to have Darlene Schacht as a guest post today!
I’m currently wrapping up a book project with actress Candace Cameron Bure, which inspires women to reshape their body and soul. Published with B & H Publishing Group, Reshaping It All: Motivation for Spiritual and Physical Fitness is available for pre-order at Amazon.com. Darlene also has a new blog called Time Warp Wife:
I asked Darlene to write a blog post for Two shall become One and she sweetly agreed! Thanks so much Darlene!
Ladies please leave her some love in the comments and make sure to visit her new website and Facebook page for Time Warp Wife.
Regaining Sight of His Character By: Darlene Schacht
Countless experts on marriage have come out and said, “Men desire respect.” “Men want respect.” “Men need respect.” So what is this buzz word all about? When defining the word, we have to remember that respect is both a noun and a verb. Feeling respect for someone who’s admirable can be a lot easier than showing respect to someone who’s not. And let’s face it, girls, there are times when we all lose sight of the once admirable characters our husbands once had.
Let’s look at ways to put respect in action and start regaining the sight we have lost:
Let him take the lead. Make your wishes known, but let him, as the head of your house make the final decisions. Joyfully accept the choices he makes. Grumbling, arguing, complaining or pouting are not becoming of a woman, and will turn your husband off.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. – Proverbs 21:9
Have a good opinion of him. Husbands have x-ray vision when it comes to our brains. They know when we truly value them, and when we’re putting it on. If we’re accustomed to judging every move they make, it’s time to bridle our tongue, and grab hold of the reins on our thoughts. Focus on the good, let go of the petty judgment.
Notice him. As women, there are times when we like to be noticed for the way that we look, while men prefer to be noticed for the things that they do. Start noting the things that he does, whether big or small, and let him know that you appreciate the effort he’s made. For example, if you have a disagreement, and he apologizes to you, make sure that you mention his kindness later.
“Honey, I really appreciate your humble spirit. It meant a lot to me that you apologized,” goes a lot farther than saying, “I’m sorry too.” Kiss…kiss…kiss… Don’t get me wrong, the kissing part is great, but take time to notice his effort.
Show consideration. I’ve met a lot of mothers who show little consideration to their husbands when it comes to disciplining their children. Unfortunately I’ve seen a lot of naughty children as a result. When Dad makes a rule like “No eating in the van,” stick to that rule.
Your actions toward your husband are a living gauge to growing souls. They watch how we comply, and live accordingly. My husband has said things from time to time that I haven’t completely agreed with when it came to raising our children. One instance in particular was when I arrived home from a writing conference to find out that: “Dad told us we don’t have to do chores anymore!!” Apparently, he was having such a great time keeping house while I was gone that he decided to take over for the kids. Monday morning came, Dad was off to work, and the kids had stopped picking up after themselves.
Times like these call for a private meeting of the parents who work as a team. I make my request known to my husband, and together we weigh the pros and cons before going back to the kids with plan B.
Think highly of him. It can be difficult at times to think highly of a man who’s stretched out on the couch with a bowl of chips on his chest, a remote in hand and little to no contact with you. Understood. We all have times when we’re frustrated that our man isn’t quite the prince charming we met years back in Wonderland. Bottom line is that in most cases, he hasn’t changed–our perception of him has.
Flowers, dates, kissing in the back-seat of a car, and wearing designer jeans, does not a Prince Charming make. But being there through the birth of your child, working hard to take home a paycheck, bringing his family to church, and taking care of you when you’re hurling over the throne, are noble features to be desired in a man. If he has done any or all of those things, he’s worth a second thought. Start to view your husband with high regard, and you’ll find much to be thankful for.