I hate to admit it but the cold honest truth is that we put ourselves in the line of fire when we engage in friendships.
We run the risk of betrayal and heartache. No one can hurt us as deeply as someone we’ve let past the armor and protection we live behind. Jealousy, gossip, abandonment are all possible when we engage in relationships beyond “how are you?”
Having said that, what’s the alternative? Shutting the door to any chance of friendship? Keeping women at arms length because they just might hurt you? That sounds miserable and lonely.
We were created for connection, hardwired to need one another.
While friendships can be difficult, they are worth it. Friends help us grow. We laugh, cry and share life.
A few ways to avoid the pitfalls of broken friendships:
1. Believe the best about each other. Trust that they are not stabbbing you in the back. Don’t let the paranoid thoughts take over and assume the worst.
2. Communicate immediately when you think the trust has been breached. Don’t let it fester. Keep those lines of communication wide open. Dare to be vulnerable and ask the hard questions.
3. Give what you would like to receive: honestly, warmth, openness, forgiveness & TIME.
4. Care about the details of her life. Pay attention, listen. It can be so easy to be caught up in our own dramas that we forget that her journey is happening too. Let her know that you’re thinking about her and praying for her.
5. Don’t suck the life out of her. She’s a friend not a Savior. Keeping a good perspective on “who our help comes from” is a healthy way to approach friendship.
6. Reach out! Oh for goodness sake, make the first phone call. Don’t wait for her to call while rehearsing the fact that you are ALWAYS the one to initiate a get together. It is so easy to stay in our safe place free of rejection. Easy but lonely.
Yes, friendship is risky, but it’s worth the risk. Dare to step out. Be brave. Be a friend before expecting friendship to come back to you.
There is no greater joy than laughing with a girlfriend until somone snorts.
What would you add to this list?