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When Adult Kids Make Bad Decisions

From my segment on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook… Listen to segment here: When Adult Kids Make Bad Decisions


Ok, so your kids are grown, you are no longer in charge of all the details in their life and they’ve made some really poor choices …what do we do?

First realize that it’s their journey not yours.

I know that’s hard…I don’t care how old my kids are, when they fall into a pit, instinctively I want to be the one to pull them out. I don’t like to see them hurt, I don’t want them going down a hard or dangerous path, but ultimately it’s no longer my journey, it’s theirs.

As difficult as these seasons can be, we don’t have to let their bad decisions turn our life into chaos.

We have to let our kids face the consequences for the decisions that they make.

It’s also important that we step back and see if what we are doing is helping or enabling them.

Helping: is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling: is entirely different, enabling is doing things for someone else that they CAN and SHOULD be doing for themselves.

Enabling our kids only continues an unhealthy cycle and keeps both sides from taking the right roads in our own journeys.

So, Moms, don’t blame yourself and don’t make excuses for your kids.

I want to encourage the moms who are going through this…ladies, it’s time to take care of your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs.

It’s time to set healthy boundaries with our adult kids and stop neglecting your own journey.

There is a great book called:

“Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing”  by Allison Bottke

If this is your life right now and you need more support, I highly encourage you to pick it up.

And most important, since God gave us these children, we can lean on Him to give us wisdom, guidance and encouragement along the way…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

If you’re not in the West Michigan area you can listen to my segments every Tuesday at 7:05 AM EST live on iHeart Radio anywhere in the world!

Check out Tommy and Brook’s page online at West Michigan STAR: Tommy and Brook

Their Facebook page: Tommy and Brook

And their Twitter: @TommyAndBrook

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