We all want our kids to talk to us right?
When they were little we imagined sweet conversations about life, love and how much they appreciated the sacrifices of our parenting. Instead we’re faced with rolling eyes and a child that looks at you like you’ve just arrived on earth from another planet.
We know that every day is not “fine,” and we long for our kids to sit down and share their life for us, but that doesn’t always happen.
One of the biggest reasons our kids shut down and won’t talk to us is that we freak out when they do. I completely understand this. There have been times that my kids are telling me about something that happened with a friend or at a party and I’m sure I turn 3 shades of pale. But even though every bone in my body wants to freak out and go into lecture mode…if I ever want them to talk to me again, I have to remain calm.
My teen is not looking for a life lesson at this moment. They want my ear and my support. These kids are facing a different world than we did and we want them to be able to talk to us.
So you might be thinking: what do I do if my daughter/son is telling me something outrageous or even something that scares me? How do I handle these delicate situations?
First we listen, remembering that listening does not involve the movement of our lips. (You may need to jump back to last week’s post about learning to WAIT.) Then we channel our inner Oprah and talk about how these things make our kids feel and what, if anything do THEY think should be done about the situation and then while you are having a two way conversation about it, you can give your input.
Ask…do you think it was a good idea for you to stay at that party? How would you handle it different next time? THEN share your opinion in a non-accusing way. Give them the benefit of the doubt…the less you freak out, the more they will open up.
Moms, let’s have honest-open conversations with our kids AND THEN call your best girlfriend and freak out!
Click to listen to segment: Real Moms of West Michigan on Star 105.7 I do the ‘Real Moms of West Michigan’ segments on Star 105.7 with Tommy and Brook every Tuesday morning around 7:05 AM. If you are not in the West Michigan area you can listen on iHeart radio